Television tells me

Television tells me

I’m watching CNN this morning as we gear up for Democratic Decider Day, and there was just a commercial on the absolute unwavering virtues of… coal. In the background, “Celebration” (wah-hoo!) played. America’s power! (wah-hoo!) It’s what runs 70% of our energy systems! (wah-hoo!) Heyyyyyyy… wait a second.

But the “I Like to Watch” column in Salon yesterday had world view that was a little more akin to my own — on the economy:

The talking heads want us to think that it’s all our fault for charging a 52-inch plasma flat-screen TV on our credit cards, but we’re not buying that song and dance anymore. A pound of chicken breast is $7 at my grocery store. I live in a working-class neighborhood. What the hell are people eating out there? The federal minimum wage is $5.85 an hour! Can you imagine working over an hour for a f***ing chicken sandwich? What is this, Zimbabwe?

In troubled times like these, I like to tune in to “The Suze Orman Show” (9 p.m. EST on CNBC) so Suze and her befuddled crowds and I can sigh heavily together over the sorry state of the U.S. economy. I love how Suze talks about good things to do with money I don’t have. I like putting imaginary money into IRAs and then saving some more imaginary money for a 529 college fund. It feels reassuring, somehow, to know that if I stumbled on $10,000 or $15,000, I’d know lots of things to do with it that wouldn’t involve Cabo San Lucas or high-grade cocaine at all.

Amen, sister. I do however, really like the Holiday Inn Express breakfast bar commercials.