A bit of housecleaning here: Earthlink, in its utter brilliance, has mistakenly shut off my email addresses that I have with them. So, if you've tried to email me, and it bounced, don't worry… they assure me that it will be back in (get this!) 24-48 hours. In the meantime, drop me a line at the form on this site.
UPDATE: my access to all email addresses has been restored!
Rather than give the Academy Award speech that I've been saving up since I was a toddler, I'll just give you the link to the website I just launched for The Hightower Lowdown, and the press release:
——————————————————
George W is doing a heck of a job!
At least, that's what he says. He reckons our economy is "steady and strong. Steady and strong."
In the real world, dozens of researchers are keeping track and the Hightower Lowdown has put all their facts and figures into a HANDY DANDY POSTER that spells out what a whopper and a crock'o' that Bush claim is!
Just a couple of highlights: Last year we bought more goods and services from other countries than they bought from us — $723 billion more, which is an all-time record trade deficit. Bush has cut taxes on people who make $10 million a year by half a million bucks a year each. Meanwhile, 37 million Americans are living in poverty.
Visit http://www.hightowerlowdown.org to see the ARE YOU BETTER OFF YET poster in the July issue on the EXCELLENT NEW Hightower Lowdown website.
Jim Hightower and all of us at the Lowdown, which has 140,000 subscribers, are thrilled to invite you to check out this hot-off-the-keyboards website which features:
* A crisp and clean redesign with our current issue and over seven years of archives online!
* Email alerts from Hightower and the Lowdown!
* Quick and easy ways to send messages to Hightower or anyone else at the Lowdown!
* Places for subscribers to comment on any and every article in the Lowdown!
And — wait, there's more coming soon! –
* Daily blogs from Hightower and others in the Lowdown camp!
* Local Lowdown events that subscribers can organize and anyone can attend!
* RSS/syndication feeds for the geekily-inclined!
So click out of this email and go check out the NEW ISSUE of the Lowdown on our NEW WEBSITE.
http://www.hightowerlowdown.org/
Best from Jim Hightower, Phillip Frazer, Matt Wuerker, Laura Ehrlich, Deanna Zandt, Karen Gifford, Sahu Barron, Gwenda Blair, John Ernst, Bob Siegel, Jackson Frazer, and the whole crew at CivicActions (www.civicactions.com) who built this mighty nifty website.
posted Wed., Jul 12, 2006 at 4:37pm
tags: Client News • clients • design • hightower lowdown • jim hightower • Media • Tech • technology
My brother responded to my post about Bureaucracy…
Oh, I hate those things [voice-prompted call systems]. You know, it really *is* kind of like playing those old text adventures like Bureaucracy, except the points that are measured are actually your blood pressure going up.
And he sent the following dramatic reenactment:
> LOOK
You are in your computer room. Things are in slight disarray; some of last week's laundry is laying on the boxes behind you, empty beer cans lie strewn about, and the ashtray on your desk hasn't been emptied in days. On your desk is a computer monitor, your cell phone, a piece of paper, and various computer parts. Next to your desk are your two computers and a printer stand, which holds your modem and router. You are sitting in your chair. There is an exit east.
> USE COMPUTER
Which computer do you mean, the Gell Pessimitude fileserver, or the new state-of-the-art Boysenberry XR-71 Mach Snail?
> BOYSENBERRY
As you open up the Mothra browser (no doubt named for all the inherent bugs in it), an error page comes up telling you it can't find a connection.
Your blood pressure has increased 2 points.
> EXAMINE ROUTER
This is a Lynkpiss router. It's a bit older, but you like it because it's OS is easily replaced by better third-party software. Four cables are plugged in to it: one to each computer, one to the modem, and a power cable. It seems to be functioning properly.
> EXAMINE MODEM
There's no indication of the manufacturer of this modem, but it's narrow, black, and has a bunch of triangular lights on it. The only markings on the modem are stickers on the bottom showing FCC numbers and a MAC ID. It has three cables running to it: one to the router, one going in to the wall, and a power cable. A triangular blinking "RECV" light tells you it's not getting a signal.
> GET CELL PHONE AND CALL TECH SUPPORT
Taken.
A cheery voice greets you, "Thank you for calling Barter Communications. To continue in English, please press one. Para ayuda en Espanol, oprima el numero dos."
> READ PAPER
(Taken)
Barter Voicemenu Cheat Sheet
Tech Support - 1322148621181
Billing - 124639326115272893142(acct#)31223
Sales - 11
(Next to the Sales entry is a hastily scrawled note in your handwriting that reads, "Bastards!")
> DIAL 1322148621181
The cheery voice says, "One moment please!" and some cabana music starts playing. "Good thing I read the cheat sheet," you think, but then ponder all the previous calls and wasted life it took to create it.
Your blood pressure has decreased by 1 point.
> Z
Time passes…
The music is interrupted, and another not-so-cheery (kind of whiny, actually) voice says, "We're sorry, all of our technical support representatives are currently assisting other customers. Please wait and your call will be answered in the order it was received." It sort of sounds like a third grader with an adult voice reading lines from Shakespeare.
Your blood pressure has increased by 1 point.
> Z
Time passes…
A new cheery yet sultry voice comes on the phone and tells you, "Hello! I'm the Barter computer system! While you're waiting to speak to one of our representatives, I'd like to ask you some preliminary questions. I'll pass this information along to our representatives so they can help you further if necessary. If you'd like to continue, please say, 'Ok!'"
> DIAL 0
The cheery sultry voice almost laughingly says, "I *know* you really want to speak to a person right now, but I'd like to ask you some questions first. If you'd like me to help you, please say, 'Ok!'"
Your blood pressure has increased by 1 point.
> SAY "NO THANKS"
"Great! Is your computer on right now?"
Your blood pressure has increased by 1 point.
> SAY "YES"
"Good. Is your modem on, too?"
Your blood pressure has increased by 1 point.
> SAY "YES"
"Excellent! Now, can you tell me what kind of modem you have? You can tell by looking underneath the modem for a manufacturer sticker. Our most common models are 3-Bomb and Engineola! If you don't know your modem's manufacturer, please say, "I don't know!'".
> EXAMINE MODEM
There's no indication of the manufacturer of this modem, but it's narrow, black, and has a bunch of triangular lights on it. The only markings on the modem are stickers on the bottom showing FCC numbers and a MAC ID. It has three cables running to it: one to the router, one going in to the wall, and a power cable. A triangular blinking "RECV" light tells you it's not getting a signal.
The cheery sultry voice asks, "Are you still there?"
> SAY "YES"
"I'm sorry, I didn't understand that modem type. Could you say it again?"
Your phone sounds a quick double-beep at you.
Your blood pressure has increased 2 points.
> EXAMINE PHONE
Your phone is a CS-9120, last year's state-of-the-art phone from Happitec. It has a host of features you rarely use, including a built-in camera. The battery indicator is flashing.
The cheery sultry voice asks, "Are you still there?"
Your blood pressure has increased 5 points.
> SAY "LET ME SPEAK TO A HUMAN NOW"
"Hmm. Let's move on. Is your cable TV working properly? To tell for sure, please tune to channel 9."
Your phone sounds a quick double-beep at you.
Your blood pressure has increased 5 points.
> SAY "I NEED TO SPEAK TO A HUMAN #$%ING BEING RIGHT NOW, YOU PIECE OF #!@$ COMPUTER, BEFORE I REACH THROUGH THIS PHONE AND TEAR YOUR %^&$ING TRANSISTORS OUT, PUT SOME SOY SAUCE ON THEM, EAT THEM FOR LUNCH, AND FLUSH THEM DOWN THE GOD&*^$ TOILET IN AN HOUR! IS THAT COMING THROUGH LOUD AND *&^)ING CLEAR?"
Having far exceeded the three curseword limit the system was designed for, the voice ever-so-happily tells you, "Hold on while I transfer your call!"
Your phone sounds a quick double-beep at you.
Your blood pressure has increased 10 points.
> Z
Time passes…
A new voice comes on the phone. "Thank you for calling Barter Communications, this is Brad, how can I be of serv–" and your cellphone dies.
Your blood pressure has increased 20 points.
You feel a slight pressure in your head, shortly before passing out. Apparently the blood vessels in your brain can only take so much, and a few popped on you causing a massive aneurism.
**** YOU HAVE DIED ****
Please type RESTORE or QUIT:
————————————————
Last thoughts from my dear brother?
So, that's how I see it.
posted Tue., Jul 11, 2006 at 10:18am
tags: brother • bureacracy • cable company • gaming • humor • infocom • technology • text adventure games • voice-prompted
It was a text adventure game created by Douglas Adams that my brother and I spent many, many months playing in our youth. My brother was the expert, and I would just sort of sit there and watch. Little did I know just how useful that game would come to be.
I'm working on a project right now that's just about to launch. Names of the innocent and guilty have been changed. This is what happened when we went to launch the site last night…
My deep-breathing has been perfected.
My cousin Mike Zandt and his family have suffered some crazy flooding upstate since last week… this is the shot he sent us. Have a look at some of the other flood photos people have been sending around in my Flickr set.
Oh, in case anyone was wondering — my parents (and, as far as I know, the rest of my family) made out fine with no flooding where they are.
posted Thu., Jul 6, 2006 at 9:04pm
tags: binghamton • delaware river • deposit • Family • flood • photos
| some of my random flickr photos: |
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